Grey Spaces

I've discovered that when it comes to relationships, I don't like grey areas. I like it black and white. We like each other or we don't. We are polite to each other or we're not. I don't feel the need to be best friends with everyone, but I don't like feeling forced to be nice to those I don't. This gets especially complicated when it comes to your girlfriends.

I am someone with a very high tolerance for taking crap from people. Not that that's something to be proud of, but I will let people push me and push me until I can't stand them anymore. Then I have no choice but forced separation from the guilty party until I forget why I was angry. The problem is I don't stay mad very long. Not that that's a flaw, since holding grudges is not the healthiest thing you can do. But I tend to forgive & forget TOO easily. When I forgive it's fine. When I forget it's not. Inevitably the person will start over, realizing that I will be nice for a little while and push and push till I can't take it anymore. Then again the period of limited contact, a punishment that never teaches it's lesson.

As I was saying - the good thing about crap in a romantic relationship - YOU CAN BREAK UP. Breaking up with friends is not so easy. When do you reach the point that you cannot go on? When do you 'break up'? When do you forgive? When do you forget? There are a few qualities I cannot stand in people. Dishonesty & a lack of respect for me and others around them are major issues, as are rigidity in thinking and immaturity. You can't break up with a friend like you break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes people drag you down. I can think of several examples of people I don't want to spend too much time with because inevitably, time after time, it comes to the same end. Sometimes people use you to make themselves feel better. You become the ugly or fat friend on a night out, you become the person they put down all the time to boost their own ego, or they just need to hear themselves talk. The problem is, sometimes there are good people out there who aren't great for you. These form grey spaces. They work for some people and don't work for others. They work well with you in some situations and don't in others. How do you negotiate this? Where do you draw the line? How do you forgive without forgetting? Forgiveness is a sign of maturity, but forgetting is a sign of stupidity. The point is, although each relationship is unique, when it's someone you either like or dislike you know how to act; it's easier to know how to act. When it's someone whom you both like and dislike, in different ways, it will all depend. On you.